This is the first day of 2012. It had better be better. I'm not sure I could imagine how it could get much worse. This was the first year that I spent new year's by myself. I thought it would be incredibly terrible but it wasn't. Maybe I needed that instead of setting myself up for what feels like failure when I can't seem to get ahead.
Daddy passed away on the 2nd. It's now been a month. I'm still very angry and upset and feeling quite raw about the whole thing. I have things I want to start doing, but mostly it feels better to just stay inside and do nothing or sleep. Sleep is a big one right now. Hygiene is also lacking again. Ugg.
How is this possible? How come my brain doesn't understand what has happened? Why wouldn't Daddy have planned better just in case? I need him so much. Casey needs him so much. What are all of us going to do?
